When you are ready to feel, it you can heal it.
The background of this painting was inspired by an online class I was taken by Olga Furman called "Paint Your Heart and Soul 2017". The teacher was Basia Zielinska. But the inspiration from the class stopped with the background. My spirit and higher self wanted to take me on a totally different journey.
I had been going through some deep inner healing work surrounding my relationship with my father, All my life I sought my father's approval as all daughters do. But my father was a 6'6" stoic man. He devoted his life to be a college professor and never really spent any time with my two brothers are me. I lost myself in trying to make my father happy. Finally one day he told me that I not only hadn't done anything to please him, I never would. A lightbulb finally went off in my head. "WHAT? ALL THIS TIME I WAS TRYING TO PLEASE YOU WAS COMPLETELY WASTED? Although it has taken me several years to grieve this loss, I am finally pulling myself out of the hole I had fallen in since I was a small child. Everyday I have to pull back inward to make sure my inner child is loved. But finally I learned that I am the mother and father now. Now I can give her the love from the inside out. The tears flowed as I made this piece. I released so much old stuck energy.
~This piece of art is a symbol of transformation. It incorporates and blends the energies of fire which burns up the old out grown parts of our selves, along with the healing and cleansing power of water which releases the muck through the tears of grief, and the freedom that the winds of change bring as they yeah us how to fly while still being grounded in the presence of the Earth.
~"If nothing ever changed, there would be no butterflies."
Above are my speed painting video of the process. The one on the rightis a shorter one minute version.
I do recommend watching the longer though because it is of one of my favorite songs by the Counting Crows.